1. caress each other
One of the most important 10 tips is kiss, cuddle and caress.
Three important ingredients for a close relationship. These three wonderful things form the basis of any love relationship where physical attraction has been present. 10 tips from the therapist
Physical contact releases a love hormone called oxytocin, this hormone brings us closer together. It also releases another hormone called dopamine, which has a very positive effect on mood and lowers the stress hormone cortisol. This is why we gain so much from kissing, cuddling and caressing each other.
Make it a habit to remember that little kiss and caress when you walk past each other – even without it necessarily leading to sex.
2. Say “I’m sorry
The second tip is about your own recognition.
In couples therapy, we learn how to sincerely apologize, when an apology is in order, you have come a long way in reaching each other after an argument.
It’s important to know that we can make mistakes and behave badly and then make up with our partner.
A genuine apology should be serious and not just a quick way to get out of a predicament or argument. Don’t let the apology be followed by a “but”. (“I’m sorry, but you…”).
The word “but” makes the apology worthless and is almost always followed by criticism or poor excuses.
Take responsibility for your own behavior and apologize for it. It shows maturity as an example to follow and enhances your ability to work together as a couple.
Couples counseling in Vejle | Learning to listen to each other in relationships
3. Remember to listen
Men are often accused of not listening properly, but let’s be honest, women aren’t too good at it either.
But it’s important to listen to our partner. The relationships that last the longest are the ones where you show interest and empathy for each other.
It’s about being available to each other, showing that we’re there when one of us needs to talk and especially when it comes to vulnerable topics.
4. NEVER threaten to leave each other
It’s not fair to threaten to end the relationship when you’re in the middle of a loud argument. And you should also never mention divorce to try to scare or shake your partner.
Many married people occasionally toy with the idea of divorce, even if they are far from realizing it. “Min mand er altid sur og negative!” There are few things that can be more damaging to a relationship than telling someone that you might be getting out of it.
It creates insecurity and it can start an avalanche of anxiety. Anxiety is like poison in a relationship, but it can be removed by feeling safe together.
Both parties need to know that the relationship can handle enormous amounts of conflict and stress without having to constantly worry that it will break down.
But if you keep threatening divorce and separation, that’s most likely what will happen.
5. Make friends with your partner’s friends
Being part of your partner’s network is almost as important a part of a good relationship as having a good relationship with your partner’s family.
The better and stronger the relationship you have with your partner’s friends, the better you and your partner’s relationship will be. It creates security between you and security is like glue between a couple and security creates flexible relationships.
You can go out with your friends while your partner is comfortable staying home with the kids because you know each other’s social circle.
6. Accept your differences
Accept that men and women are fundamentally different and women are no more right than men. Furthermore, we come from different backgrounds that make us unique as people. We act and react based on our experiences growing up.
That’s why it’s important that we explore with each other why we say and do what we do. This creates understanding and acceptance.
7. Learn each other’s love language
Be aware of what makes your partner feel loved – and use it.
We all need to feel loved by our partner. According to American couples therapist Gary Chapman, we understand love through 5 love languages: physical touch, words of appreciation, time together, gifts or favors.
Explore each other and notice how each of you practice these languages. If you find it difficult to spot them, read “The 5 languages of love” by Gary Chapman.
Knowing your own love language and learning your partner’s can make the difference between happiness and divorce.
8. A simple piece of advice
The grass is greenest where you water it!
9. Show your sowability
When you dare to show your vulnerability, your partner may also dare to show theirs. When you show your most vulnerable sides, research shows that as a couple you become more connected and you can more easily understand each other’s reaction patterns.
It makes you feel connected. And at the end of the day, we all have a place we’re afraid to show. Find the courage and share it with your partner. You’ll be surprised at the depth you can find in your relationship and strengthen your relationship to resolve conflicts.
10. Get help if the love is gone
Don’t be afraid to get professional help to find your way back to each other again. With a divorce rate of over 54%, getting help from a couples therapist, for example, only shows drive and desire for the relationship.
Couples therapy takes place in dialog and collaboration between you as a couple and your therapist.
In therapy, we work to create a safe space for you to uncover the negative patterns that contribute to conflict or distance in your relationship.
As a therapist, I guide you to the underlying longings and problems that lie behind these patterns. Once this is in place, the work of creating new and more positive patterns in the relationship begins.
This is where honesty often reappears.